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Here is the great challenge: All people, whatever their color, religion, or sex, belong to humankind and are called to be kind to one another, treating one another as brothers and sisters. There is hardly a day in our lives in which we are not called to this." ~Henri Nouwen from Bread for the Journey: A Daybook of Wisdom and Faith
Dialogue from Ash Wednesday 2011
Josiah: I'm thinking about giving up smoking for Lent.
Josiah's Pastor: Oh really? That's nice.
J: I think so. I mean, isn't that an obvious one?
P: I don't know, Joe. How about you give up being an asshole, instead?
J: (In a bit of shock) Are you serious??
P: Totally.
The Actual Blog Post
Good morning, friends!
So, I have a confession to make:
Sometimes, I am a boxer. I know it sounds too badass to be true, ESPECIALLY for me, but it's true. I like to imagine my pale, awkwardly shaped, nerdy body being tansformed into a cut, fit weapon. I am dripping sweat and bouncing around in shorts and gloves, with that familiar look of bloodlust in my eyes.
You will notice I used the word "familiar." Sadly, this is true. Raging Bull becomes Raging Theologian, or really, just Raging Christian.
One of my mentors and dearly loved professors in college, Dr. Jon Case (the Dark Lord of Theology, as I like to call him), was known for ALWAYS saying things that hit you in the gut. Case would refer to these moments as "a chicken bone caught in the throat." You can't exactly explain what it was you experienced or why you felt that way, but you knew you were deeply affected, and oftentimes, you found that your life would begin to change. One such moment was in our Christianity and Postmodernism class. Case told us that Christian theologians are "taught to go down swinging." He concluded his mini-sermon (he IS a pastor, after all) by saying that this "does VIOLENCE to the Gospel."
Christian people fighting? Christian people doing violence to the Gospel of Jesus Christ?
Wait....that's us.
That's you!
That's...me!
If it is NOT you, and you don't identify as a Christian person, then I am SURE you have witnessed and/or experienced a Christian behaving like a boxer.
(Chicken bone lodges itself in throat)
But...wait...what ARE we fighting about? WHY are we fighting? WHO are we fighting?
In the words of Conor Oberst from Bright Eyes, "Let's Not Sh*t Ourselves." We are fighting because we want to be right. We are fighting because we HONESTLY BELIEVE that we ARE right and, as logic would have it, EVERYONE else is WRONG.
So, strap on those boxing gloves, Christian people!
CONFESSION TIME:
I have a temper. I come from a long and deep Scotch (not the drink, the people) heritage. As a Scotsman, when I am bothered (bothered is such a nice word, isn't it?), a fierce William Wallace drenched in drunken anger and smeared in body paint tries to crawl out of my skin. I am an actor, so I have a flair for the theatrical and the dramatic. I am vocally trained, so my deep voice projects quite well. When I yell, I am loud. When I curse, it is colorful, offensive, and wounding.
You see, I carry my own swords around in my mouth. There's something about that in the Bible somewhere, isn't there?
There is a train that I jump on, and before anyone else can jump on and join me, I have left the station. And that train moves QUICKLY. It goes and goes and goes and JUST. DOESN'T. STOP. Ask Cari. She has tried to catch that train numerous times. God Almighty, I am indebted to Cari's graciousness!
My confession to God and to you, the good people of the Blog, is that I need help. I am not a kind person, by nature. I am an angry, temperamental, self-righteous, arrogant ASSHOLE. I came into this world an ASSHOLE and I will most likely die an ASSHOLE.
You might think that rather theatrical paragraph I just typed (see directly above) is ridiculous. But, I am okay with confessing that I'm an asshole. I am okay with this confession because of something the "good doctor" Martin Luther calls Simul Justus et Peccator. This is a Latin phrase that means, literally, simultaneously justified and sinner. Or, as we like to say in Lutheran circles, simultaneously Sinner and Saint. Because of the Cross and Resurrection of Jesus Christ, and by virtue of our baptism, we are constantly living in that tension between Sinner and Saint. And THAT is the Gospel. As Charles Spurgeon once said (paraphrase), "If your sin is small, then your Savior will be small. If your sin is great, then your Savior must be great to save you from it."
So yes, I am an asshole.
But, God is good.
God knows and sees that I am an asshole and yet, God calls me righteous. We call this GRACE. It is something I NEED and something I am absolutely addicted to! I HIGHLY recommend reading Rev. Nadia Bolz-Weber's spiritual memoir, Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner and Saint or Pastor Jay Bakker's book, Fall To Grace, if you have any questions about what Grace looks like played out in our lives. Or you could read Kierkegaard. There's also Luther (of COURSE). But...there's also St. Augustine of Hippo (Luther WAS a Catholic monk AND we Lutherans ARE an Augustinian Tradition, after all). But...most importantly...there's the Scriptures. Ya know...the writings of St. Paul...particularly Galatians and Romans...and also...you can thumb through the Gospel accounts again.
Let the words of Jesus soak into your skin and deliver grace like a care package to your wounded, seething, raging, broken heart.
So, yes, I'm an asshole. Vicar Josiah is a big ol' asshole. And THAT sin of mine (yes, it IS SIN and no, I will NOT apologize for using that word. I am an Augustinian Christian after all.) has been the root of MANY other sins and problems in my life. I have wounded the ones I love very deeply.
You know that song, "You Always Hurt the Ones You Love?" Well, in the Derek Cianfrance fillm, Blue Valentine, Ryan Gosling's character Dean sings it to great and GOOFY effect, strumming away on the ukulele and directing his singing towards a lovely tap-dancing Michelle Williams...the very woman he loves...the very woman he will deeply hurt. Blue Valentine, as a film, is the PERFECT and tragic example of people's deep sin uprooting and destroying something beautiful and good, Relationship.
In the days leading up to World War II, a very young pastor and theologian, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, wrote what I think is his masterpiece. It's called Life Together and it is an examination of Christians living together in community. If you have NOT read this book, just do it. Stop making excuses. Treat yourself. Just go do it.
If I were to write a companion piece to this book, I would call it, Life Apart. My book would be about how Bonhoeffer's plea for Christian community which is entirely rooted in the message and mission of the Gospel has been wounded by Christians who spend a great deal of their time using Facebook. The newly elected bishop of my synod, Rev. John Macholz, says that "Church people need to learn how to use Facebook as a tool instead of letting Facebook turn Church people into a bunch of tools!" Oversharing. Airing dirty laundry. Starting fights. Exposing secrets. Manipulating entire communities. All of this, and more, happens on Facebook daily.
Facebook: Making Tools out of People Since 2003.
NOW, let me be clear:
I am NOT Anti-Facebook! I think Social Media is, as Rev. Macholz would say, a wonderful tool IF used appropriately and responsibly (whatever THAT means). There are several Christian leaders who are very gifted at guiding the Church through responsible ways of using the gift of Social Media to tell our stories and connect with the world, because of the Gospel. One of those people is Rev. Keith Anderson. Please look him up and read his stuff! He has good words for you culturally savvy Christian nerdlings!
I left Facebook because I'm an asshole. I left Facebook because the shit that other people spread makes me want to spread shit. I left Facebook because you always hurt the ones you love. It makes me jealous. It makes me angry. It leaves me with a permanent lump in my throat. It makes me fight with other people who I have never met. It makes me do violence to the Gospel.
It forces me into a corner and hands me boxing gloves.
Shit...I'm a boxer again.
The Lutheran doctrine of Theology of the Cross (theologia crucis) indicates that "God ALWAYS shows up in the last place you would EVER reasonably think to look." A prime example of this would be the Cross. So, if theology of the Cross is like, a legit thing then that means God is at work in Facebook and I am very grateful for that. But, God is also at work in our hearts, changing us and renewing us and allowing chicken bones to get caught in our throats, scaring us just enough to change us. Yeah. God's kind of a bastard sometimes.
I am literally watching Facebook destroy Christian community. Rev. Keith Anderson believes that Facebook is doing the exact opposite. Sometimes, I think Keith and I come from different worlds. Thank God for Keith and for his positive energy! I need that!
But, for now, Facebook is not a part of my life and, ya know what? It feels AMAZING! God is cleaning me out and making something new. I am TRYING to hang my boxing gloves up in my closet and LEAVE them there.
But...but....sometimes...they are just sooooo...red....and shiny...and awesome...and I just CAN'T resist them....
